Then all of a sudden one day it seems like you have waken up from a deep drug-induced sleep. And when you looked at your mate this time, you might have asked yourself the question: Who is this person? How could I have ever fallen in love with him or her? What could have gotten into me? Well something actually did get into you that you did not even know about or understand. Later on, I will tell you exactly what it was. But before I tell you about my amazing discovery, I would like to tell you how I came to understand so much about the process of falling in love and how to keep love alive Forever.
In 1983, I was blessed to be able to marry my college sweetheart and just like all newly married couples, we were so madly in love with each other. Then for the next twenty years, I unknowingly began to get an education in Advanced Relationship Management. The reason I call it this is because just like so many other couples all over the world starting their lives out together, we were deeply in love with each other. I am sure you know the feeling I am talking about. I'm talking about all those wonderful feelings you get when you finally meet the one special person you feel is your Eternal Soul Mate. I'm talking about the person that makes your heart race at just the thought of them. I'm talking about the person that makes you tingle from head to toe. I'm talking about the person that makes your stomach feel weak when you think about those special moments only the two of you share. When you are in love with someone, not a day goes by that you don't call each other 2-3 times a day just to say, I Love You, I Want You, or I Need You In My Life Forever. As a matter of fact, when you initially fall in love, everything you do in life is done in an effort to make the other person in your life a little bit happier. That's what being In love will do to you.
The Secrets To Making
Love Last Forever
Yes, in the beginning, I really thought that simply being in love was all it took to make a relationship last forever. But what I gradually learned over twenty years was that maintaining a happy fulfilling long-term relationship required having certain skills and an understanding that neither one of us had. The same situation exists for millions of other couples all over the world who start out deeply in love and over time, the love they once shared gradually disappears. It is so sad that we spend our entire lives getting an education in all kinds of other subjects, except in the one area of our lives that has so much impact and importance on our entire life for as long as we live. The reason I am saying this is because it is the relationship that results in families being created and children being born. This is simply a part of the Cycle of Life. However, due to the fact most people have so little of an understanding of the dynamics of what it takes to maintain and cultivate a healthy, happy, long-term relationship, most relationships or marriages do not last, forever. And when a couple breaks up, especially if they have children. The children are the ones who suffer the greatest loss. Which is so sad. What is even sadder is the fact that most every relationship starts off the same way with a couple who is so deeply in love with each other. However, if the couple knew the Secrets you are about to learn, they would have the opportunity to make love last, forever.
Well, as I began to realize the critical nature of the dilemma, I was in, which was the realization that I did not know what I needed to know in order to keep love alive forever, I then began doing some very extensive research into why people fall in love and what was needed in order to stay in love forever. In order to do this, I began reading every book I could find on the subject of love and relationships. I spent hours and hours and months and months reading everything I could find in bookstores, or in the library. I did this for 20 years. I also began buying all of those relationship programs that used to be advertised on late night television, too! Not to mention, having lots of deep and painful conversations with my parents and other couples who had been married for at least 40-50 years. I also attended all kinds of marriage seminars and marriage counseling sessions.
Then, to add to my research, I also approached this learning process from a scientific standpoint due to the fact that when I was in college, I majored in biology and I minored in chemistry. Additionally I also acquired a Master's Degree in Professional Counseling in order to more completely understand the academic,clinical and professional dynamics of relationships.So as you can see for me, no research is complete until it has been analyzed from a scientific perspective.
My Very Painful Marriage Was In Trouble
Well the good news is because of my desire to learn all I could about what makes relationships work and why they usually fail, as well as to try to save my own painful marriage . I learned many, many very interesting things you need to know in order to save your relationship or marriage. The bad news is that even though I learned many new and interesting things about why most relationships fail as well as how to keep love alive forever, I was still unable to save my own marriage from ending in divorce.
Now, you might be asking yourself how could I have spent so much time and put forth so much effort to learn all I have learned over the last twenty years and still my marriage ended in divorce? Well the answer to that question is that It Takes Two People Working Together with enough commitment to make it work. As well as having the same wants and needs in order to maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Yes, thats right! It takes two people who have parallel wants and needs in order to have a fighting chance at making the relationship last forever. But that is only a part of the Secret. The rest is yet to come.
Because even if a couple doesn't have the exact same wants and needs, they should at least have the ability to communicate their way through their issues or disagreements. In order to do this, they must also have the commitment and enough desire to work at making the relationship work. But, as you probably already know, these days it is much easier to end the relationship and move on to someone new, than it is to work through all of the painful issues most couples deal with from day to day.
The Chemistry of Love
Nature has played a very cruel trick on mankind! Yes, thats right. Remember earlier on in this letter, I said that there will usually come a day in your relationship when you will wake up from what seems like a deep, drug-induced sleep and ask yourself who is this person I am involved with? And what could have gotten into me? Well, little did you know the struggles in your failed relationship have not been all your fault. Mother nature actually had her hand in your relationship all along and as a result, you had very little control over the process. How do I know? Well, during the time when I was still married and still doing my scientific research into why most relationships fail and how to keep love alive forever, I had the fortunate opportunity to go to work for a major pharmaceutical company that wanted me to begin selling two different products. One of the products was designed to help those men who were suffering from a sickness that caused them to have little or no sexual desire. The other product was a drug designed to help replace certain hormones in women whose bodies no longer produced enough of a very important hormone. Just so happens, this particular hormone was the same hormone that is very important in determining whether or not a woman has any or no sexual desire. Needless to say, the process for learning these two drugs required that I do some very, very intense study, training and testing in order to begin marketing these drugs.
Well to my surprise, as I was studying these two drugs for my job, I came across some even more important information that began to explain to me why people begin feeling the way they feel when two people initially fall in love. You see, what I discovered was the bodies of both men and women are biologically designed to begin producing certain hormones or chemicals when there is a physical attraction between two people and when two people begin to fall in love.
Mother Nature's Awesome Powers
Did you know that ever since the beginning of mankind, humans, as well as all other animals, have been biologically and genetically designed to be attracted to each other so that the species could continue to reproduce? Yes, thats right!
To my surprise what I discovered was scientists have found through extensive , well documented scientific research that when two people fall in love or if there is a physical attraction, the body naturally begins to produce certain levels of dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine, serotonin, nitric oxide, vasoactive intestinal polypeptides, oxytocin, testosterone in men, and estrogen in women. The result of these chemicals being produced at certain levels in both men's and women's bodies has been found to produce an LSD, or drug-induced, type high in the individuals who have fallen in love or who have a physical attraction for each other. Thus, the reason you sometimes do not know why you might have done certain things while under the influence of these powerful chemicals. The effects of these hormones in the human body actually produces a drug induced type euphoria or high. This is a well documented phenomenon. It has also been found that some people can even become addicted to these body chemicals and as a result, run from one relationship to another in search of this type of Love High.
The Science of Love and Relationships
Knowing what I know now , I better understand the reasons why the majority of people who fall in love and then start a relationship usually ends in disaster . It's simply because the majority of people in a realtionship do not have enough of an understanding of The Science of Love and Relationships in order to survive through all of the challenges everyone who embarks into the murky waters of relationships will face. My friend, a long-term relationship with the opposite sex or even the same sex is one of the most complex arrangements two people will ever embark upon. But due to the fact that Mother Nature has played her part in this process and due to the fact that falling in love happens so easy and effortlessly, most people naturally assume that maintaining the relationship will be just as easy. Surprise! Its not! The real work actually begins when two people fall in love. It doesn't get easier, not at first. Initially, it gets a little harder and then it gets easier once the couple learns to work out their differences as they occur.
So you see, within a relationship you have several very powerful forces at work. Mother Nature, Science, all of the feelings of Love, as well as the the raw Dynamics of the Relationship itself. From my research, I have found the only variables in this process you can do anything about are the individual hormonal levels and the process of learning the Dynamics of Relationship Management . And anybody with desire, commitment and the unending willingness to learn can master this art and science. Yes, two people working together can learn and grow together in this wisdom. Making the knowledge they acquire a part of their everyday life. Not sometimes. Not just when it is convenient. But each and every day for the rest of your lives together. That is the Secret to Making Love Last Forever! The two individuals in the relationship must become life-long students of the Dynamics of Applied Relationship Management or what I simply like to refer to as Mating Skills.
So remember this! What you don't know about relationships could ruin it forever! If you are truly interested in making Love Last Forever, then you and your mate will be willing to do what is necessary to make it work. And one of the most important things the two of you can do together is to begin learning everything there is to know about the dynamics and inner workings of what works best in relationships. I am sure you have heard that knowledge is power! Well, that is all so true when it comes to keeping love alive forever. Nobody comes into the world knowing how to keep love alive and how to make a relationship work. Even though the process of falling in love seems to happen naturally without any real effort, the process of maintaining a happy, healthy love relationship will require more work than anything else you will do in life, other than raising a child.
That is how I have come to this point in my life, where I would like to spend the rest of my life sharing what I have learned about relationships over the last twenty years of researching why most relationships fail and how anyone can Make Love Last Forever! As a result, I will now begin helping other people solve their relationship problems by providing select educational material and other resources that I feel will help couples in need. Because one of the Most Important things I have learned is that a couple's willingness to educate themselves over the span of their relationship will Dramatically Improve their chances of long-term relationship success. Not to mention that I have also learned a very painful lesson from my own personal experience of watching the love of my life slowly slip away from me in our failed relationship. And I would not want anyone else to have to experience that kind of pain. If you don't already know it, the gradual break down of a relationship can turn your life up side dow
As you now know the journey of discovery to learning everything possible in order to keep your relationship alive will be one of the most exciting and fulfilling journeys you and your mate can ever take together. Best of all, the results will be that you will be able to continue feeling the same way the two of you felt when you first met, and as a result, you will be able to Keep Love Alive Forever!
Roy Smith-Life Coach
Master of Arts in Professional Counseling
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